aStormS


 

aStorm

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."  These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters-who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?
  A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
  A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
  A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
  A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
  A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
  A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
  A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
  A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
  A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
  A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
  A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
  A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
  A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
  A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
  A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
  A: We do.
Q: You do?
  A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
  A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
  A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
  A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
  A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
  A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
  A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
  A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
  A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
  A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
  A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
  A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go  to?
  A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
  A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
  A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
  A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
  A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
  A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
  A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


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astorm@sl1.com